Discussion Forums > Thalassemia Major

telling people about thalassaemia

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eesha:
i dont knw guys i think its easier said than done about telling pple about my thal. i have always hidden it i mean when it was in my pernts hand they told my school and everything, but i didnt tell my friends. as i was only off school once a month i would make up an excuse although the school knew, i didnt tell any fellow pupils. since i have started work i have never told my colleagues or my boss as i have worked part time up till now so i didnt have to take days off for transfusion and uni was flexible timetable so i dint have to tell anyone ther either.
if someone asks me i deny it. i dont knw why i feel like this. i accept i have the problem and i do all my treatments but it is all in my private life. all my relatives obviously know, but i hate it when really distant relatives come and they say oh is she the girl that has blood and then they pity me and feel sorry for me, but my close rels and community treat me like normal.
but i still have that dilemma of how do i tell work now that i have said no i dont have any medical problems. i have only come across this problem now coz this job is full time , even though i have arranged  for transfusions on weekends i am scared there will be a situation or an appointment that i will have to attend and with wrking full time i will have to tell them.
i still dont want my coleagues to know, but just for it to be on my record in case anyhting happens.
i dont knw how to approach the boss and tell her as she is very stern and will really shout at me for not telling her before,. so can anyone help???

§ãJ¡Ð ساجد:
Hi Eesha,

The best thing for you for now is to explain your colleagues in a strategical way that they won't go off saying "Why didn't you tell us earlier?" when a situation arises.

First of all tell your boss about it. I hope he is an educated person with some respect for other people when confronted for discussing a personal matter. So approach him/her by saying that you have something important to discuss and give him/her a brief hint that it is related to you and could need some special considerations when a situation arises. Similarly do the same with your close colleagues and ask them not to make an issue of it since they will discuss with each other in your absence. Tell them to spread the word (if they decide to discuss) in an awareness kind of fashion and redirect the people to you so that you can clear things up much better.

I know it is really hard to do this but you need to gather all the courage you can get. Furthermore there is no rush to do it all in one day with a BANG. Start with your boss. You really need to do that as soon as possible and then move on to the colleagues when you think you are ready for it.

Remember, it's the first step that is the hardest one.

Andy Battaglia:
Eeesha,

You may be protected by law from any repercussions if you admit your thalassemia. I know this is the case in the US and is most likely the case in the UK. Employers in the US cannot terminate an employee because of a health condition. You may want to check this out before announcing your thal.

Also, don't think that people will necessarily feel sorry etc. as thal does not have the same stigma in the west that it does in many other places. It is considered a manageable condition and should be explained as such.

Above all, what you tell anyone is a matter of your own decision about your privacy and it is really no one else's business. It is up to you what you choose to disclose. I think ThalGal's advice is very good here. It should be your choice and only yours, what you decide to disclose.

Kathy11:
Hi Eeashs.
You have few option at your disposal.

Think was is really important to your well-being and peace of mind.

you could    either write a letter  or make an appointment  to   talk with your   boss ,about your illness and your concern and your fear of discrimination as regard to your condition.

 you could also think if,  It is worth working for a boss that is stern and hard to approach,

you need to know that you  are  a valuable member of this work force  too, you bring your skill which is very valuable and you need to be consider,
Have faith in your capability, do what is best for you ,

you deserve to have peace of mind ,work without  the stress of the secret you carry, I hope you decide to do the right thing for you.goodluck.
Take care Kathy

ThalGal:
Andy, you are correct, there are laws to protect employees from repercussions.

However employers (especially in the corporate world) have become very savvy, they may not terminate you for your condition but suddenly your quality of work comes under scrutiny, even if it’s the same as before they find out about the thal.

I believe if your condition (any condition) does not affect your work or prevents you from doing your job then there is no reason to tell, unless of course you chose to.

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