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cherieann:
That reminds me of this song ....Better the devil you know by Sonya

Better the devil, devil...yeah, yeah
He don't do things to make me blue,
you know my love is always true.
They don't do things to make me cry
I just can't sleep at night
you know I love everyday
it breaks my heart (yeah yeah) when he goes away

Chorus
Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't
I'll give you my heart and soul if you give me your love
Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't.

He tells me he loves me most, everyday
I'm out of my head not knowing what to say
he never plays around like other guys do
he's got the key to my heart and my love is true
you know I love him everyday
it breaks my heart (yeah yeah) when he goes away

Chorus
Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't
I'll give you my heart and soul if you give me your love
Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't.

(oh no) don't tell me lies boy (oh no) and don't make me cry
(oh no) and don't tell me lies (oh no) and don't say goodbye
(better the devil) better the devil, you know than the devil you don't.

cherieann:
Just wanting to say what's on my mind....

Today I had a visit from my birth dad. It is always good to see him but today he told me about a question my 28 yr half sister had asked him.

"Dad, with all the problems Cherie has to deal with, does she resent you and her mother?"

My father being a comedian replied, "Its better than the alternative"
He had to explain that one to her then he said "that's a silly question"

It made me think that no it's not a silly question but my sister should have asked me
and as I thought I realised that if my sister truly knows me, she wouldn't needed to have asked.

The question did bring back memories of when I first met my birth parents and their own families.
I was 16 when I met my birth parents and the hardest thing for me to deal with was the expression in their eyes (I'm so sorry) every time they looked at me.
There was alot of guilt from both my parents and before we could move forward and build a relationship, they had to get past their guilts.
Sometimes people dispite their best intentions, they end up hurting you. My birth parents made me feel guilty because they felt guilty. So everytime I saw the look, it reminded me that I was hurting them.
It took awhile but by talking through our feelings and issues we were able to accept each other's thoughts and feelings on Thalassaemia and then move on.
I accept how they feel and they accept that I'm normal.
Now 20 years later I have a solid relationship with both parents and when we talk about Thalassaemia its just part of the conversation. Nothing more or less.
I've always believed that I have a normal life. I can't miss what I've never had, so I don't.

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