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When/How do you all tell your partners?

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Aveiur:
Seeing as how there's a chance that the condition may be passed onto the next generation, when do you guys think is the best time to tell our partner's about the condition?

Cari:
Probably a good idea to explain early on if u r comfortable. However, If it's minor u have I feel like it wont make a difference unless u are able to easily walk away from a  relationship. You see, it's hard for even the most educatedand practical of people to make decisions about their future without really seeing and understanding the true implications of thalassemia major. We checked prior to getting engaged but we were dating for quite a while and by then we just saw LOVE and nothing else.  The thought of not getting married was out of the question. also thought that because we had never really SEEN it happen to anyone, it probably wasn't going to happen to us. I mean, the odds are actually in our favor in a case with two minors (75% chance it would be negative.)

I think of this often because my kids will HAVE to reveal their condition early on since their odds will be higher. 

 

gwftan:
Hi...

 This is the most difficult question, to tell or not to tell.  I believe once you are serious about the relationship, you should tell your partner.  Get him to get tested as well, then sit down to discuss.  Its better for you to let him know, afterall if its just a minor, most people would accept it but if both are you are not compatible, i mean if your risk of having a major is high then you must decide what options are available.  You will not want pointing fingers later if he found out you know and you just keep quiet about it.

Rashmi:
Hello,

Don't hide anything from your partner. Relationships are built on strong bond of love, trust and understanding. Your partner must accept you the way you are. And that way you can take the best decisions, plan your future accordingly and take the necessary precautionary steps not to pass it on to your children.

How you tell him/her, that you have to decide. Always remember, our thal status is not self created. So we must accept, free ourselves of any burden of guilt and move ahead with pride.

Pooja Thadani:
Hi
I also think in one on the first few conversations the topic should be opened. Mostly people are unaware of what it is.. So it needs to be explained & the magnitude of it, if both parters are minors.
This is my experience.. I hold my husband in the first few conversations but he didn't get the magnitude & didn't get tested dispite me repeatedly telling him. He thought he didn't have. 
I just found my first 2 have minor & my 3rd major!
The cards should always be put on the table & then options discussed.
Good luck!

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