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Lets share jokes amongst ourselves

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Christine Mary:
The Code:

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

President Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:
                                 370H-SSV-0773H.

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it sent to the CIA, then to NASA.  Eventually they asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply: "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Christine Mary:
A story from an engaged man:

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been
Dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was
only one little thing bothering me . it was her beautiful younger
sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight
miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down
when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. It
had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to go over to check the
Wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to
me that She had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total
shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my
bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down
the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a
beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed
straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all
clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said,
"We are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't
ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!"

And the moral of this story is : Always keep your condoms in your car.


Kathy11:
John gets married, and on his wedding night calls his father to get some tips on what to do since he had never been with a woman before.

"Dad so what do I do first?"

His father: "Take her clothes off and lay her on the bed"

5 minutes later John is on the phone again.

"She's naked and in bed what do I do now?" His father can't believe what he is hearing,

"Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her."

After another 5 minutes John is on the phone again.

"Dad, I'm naked and in bed with her, what do I do now?" His father's patience is now running out so he says,

"Shit son, do I have to spell everything out to you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees. Good night!!!!

"Just when his father starts snoring, his son is on the phone again.

"OK Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do now?"

"Drown yourself, you bloody idiot!"
 
 

KHALIFA:
 :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl Kathy11 
        i think every body get drunk now  :rotfl
    i have somthing also
  a man who is 90 years old get married from 20 years old girl ,in the first night he ask her what we should do now ?  :huh she said i don't know  :dunno i have no experiance ,, the old man replay what a problem i did for my self this girl she don't know what we should do now and i forget what i have to do now  :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl

                                           khalifa
                                     state of kuwait

LWSpevack:
Okay ... Count me in.  The world could use a laugh or two or three or four ... See what ya's think...


A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked on the old wooden front door.

When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, "Les' see now, there's the  twins, Sally and Billy, they're thirty-two and the twins, Seth & Beth, they're twenty-six. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're  twenty-four .... "

"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins  EVERY time?"

The woman answered, "Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin."

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