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LWSpevack:
An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day.  He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey. He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.  The gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.  I just never wanted to."

A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, "Well you old fool, you're gonna dance now" and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector was hopping around and everybody was laughing.

When the gunslinger fired his last bullet he holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound.  The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet.

The crowd watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both barrels of the shotgun.

The old man asked, "Did you ever kiss a mule square on the center of his ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No.  But I've always wanted to."

Don't mess with old folks!

Danielle:
 :rotfl :rotfl Very funny.   :biggrin

Christine Mary:
>*Little Leroy** *
>
>
>*Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
>His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
>his Mother what he wanted.
>
>"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." *
>
>*Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker He had gotten into trouble at
>school and at home. *
>
>*Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for
>his birthday. "Of course", he said. *
>
>*
>Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his
>behavior over the last year. "Go to your room, Leroy, and think about
>how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him
>why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
>
>Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God
>a letter.
>
>Letter 1
>Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike
>for my birthday. I want a red one.
>Your friend, Leroy.
>
>Leroy knew that it was not true. He had not been a good boy this year,
>so he tore it up and started over.
>
>Letter 2
>Dear God, I have been an OK boy this year. I still would like a bike for
>my birthday. Leroy. *
>
>*Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Leroy wrote
>a third letter.
>
>Letter 3
>Dear God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I
>will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
>Thank you, Leroy.
>
>Leroy knew that it was not true. By now he was very upset. He went
>downstairs and told his mother that he needed to go to church.
>
>She thought her plan had worked.
>
>** **"** **Just be home for dinner," she told him. *
>
>*Leroy walked down the street to the church on the corner.  He went to
>the altar. *
>
>*Leroy looked around to see if anyone was looking as he bent down and
>picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary.
>
>He slipped it up under his shirt and ran out the church going back home.
>He ran to his room and shut the door. Leroy began to write his letter to
>God.
>
>Letter 4
>Dear God,
>
>I got your mama.
>
>If you want to see her again, send the bike.
>Signed, You know who*
>
>

Canadian_Family:
 :rotfl :rotfl Good One...

LWSpevack:
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian.  I spend my whole day thinking about women.  As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women.  When I shower, I think about women.  When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat.  It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

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