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Lets share jokes amongst ourselves

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Christine Mary:
*HOW TO STAY MARRIED*

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.  When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.  He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."


A Prayer.......

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods;

Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.  And I don't know how to crochet.  Amen

Danielle:
That was hysterical, Christine.   :rotfl

I have one for you guys ...   :biggrin

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled
inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful
heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all
eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my
own funeral..... I'm a gynecologist".

That's when the proctologist fainted.

Christine Mary:
LMAO!!!!!!!!! :rotfl

Christine Mary:
Alice and Frank are Bungee-jumping one day.
    Alice says to Frank, "You know, we could make a lot of
    money running our own Bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

 

     Frank thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money
    and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic
    cord, insurance, etc.
     They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.

 

    As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins
    to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work
    When they had finished, there was such a crowd they
    thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration, so Alice
    jumps.
     She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes
    back up, Frank notices that she has a few cuts and scratches.

 

    Unfortunately, Frank isn't able to catch her and she
    falls again, bounces and comes back up again.

 

     This time, she is bruised and bleeding.

 

     Again, Frank misses her. Alice falls again and bounces
    back up.

 

    This time she has a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
     Luckily, Frank finally catches her this time and says,
    What happened? Was the cord too long?"
     Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was
    fine. It was the crowd. What in the hell is a piñata?!"

 

 

Canadian_Family:
 :rotfl  :rotfl  :rotfl

Danielle and Christine you were great.

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