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Lets share jokes amongst ourselves
§ãJ¡Ð ساجد:
:lmao2
Hi Andy!
Looks like you had a real good time this holiday!
Enjoy your time!
Take care, Peace!
Christine Mary:
This is funny.........
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it and takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and
asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
Christine Mary:
Tequila Christmas Cake
1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice
4 large eggs Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup ... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat. CHERRY MISTMAS!
Christine Mary:
A Loving Husband...
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
Christine Mary:
Why, Why, Why
>>
>> Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
>>are getting weak?
>>
>> Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know
>>there is not enough?
>>
>> Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
>>stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
>>
>> Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
>>
>> Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
>>
>> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>>
>> Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
>>throw a revolver at him?
>>
>> Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>>
>> Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
>>
>> If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
>>
>> Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
>>are always white?
>>
>> Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
>>
>> Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
>>something new to eat will have materialized?
>>
>> Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
>>vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down
>>to give the vacuum one more chance?
>>
>> Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first
>>try?
>>
>> How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
>>
>> When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
>>shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
>>right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
>>stupid idiot?"
>>
>> Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
>>off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
>>
>> In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
>>when we complained about the heat?
>>
>> How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
>>
>> And my FAVORITE.....
>>
>> The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
>>suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
>>friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
>>
>>
>>
>>
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