Sajid Rauf, Brother to Us All

Our brother, Sajid Rauf has left us. Sometimes God takes his children home so early and we cannot understand it, but with Sajid, I understand how God wanted his selfless servant to come home. I think many of you will understand this. Many thals refuse help because they only want to be done with this life but Sajid was different. So many people offered to help him with desferal and he was even offered Exjade but the response was always the same. Sajid always said, "someone else needs it more. Please give them the help."  Sajid, the Exjade you refused is now helping a young child in India. I don't know who needed it more but because you refused, a young child has a better chance. Sajid gave so much of himself and was always helping the other young thals in his area. He gave a tireless effort to this group and he will be greatly missed. I guess only God really knows who needs what but today I say, God needed his dear child, Sajid Rauf and brought him home to his reward. A reward well deserved and earned through his own selfless life.

Sajid, I salute you as both a friend and a colleague and promise that you will always be part of this group and your special role will always maintain.

          

Last night after I read the bad news, I wiped my tears went  to bed thinking that i just had a night mare and when I woke up it would be just that.
woke up this morning found out that the reality is that is wasn't a bad dream , I have lost a good selfless friend that gave unconditional  moral support and was always encouraging me to take it easy and enjoy life.

I dont know how, but I need the strength to accept the thing i can't change,If its god wishes whom I am ? to disagree,

Farewell  my friend Sajid, its not goodbye, its see you later matey.I'm certain you are in a nice place when my time comes I will see you again.I really thought of you like a younger brother of mine.Thank-you for having you being part of my life ,I'm richer because I met you I will miss the laughter and the jokes about the chef pastry cook.

My sincere condolences to your family I hope some one convey this message to them
with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes  "Adieu my friend".

With love from  kathy

My   condolences  to all  of this group of thalpal. It's a sad day and a  big lost for us all .
May god gives us   courage and strength to set the" dove  free."He was a special son of his.

Let all pray for a better tomorrow for thal sufferers.
 
Lots of love from  Kathy   to all.

Sajid, you were an inspiration to us all, selfless and giving, always... you will be missed dearly. May you be granted paradise....

 :'(

INA-LILAH-HAY-WA-INA-ELAIHAY-RA-JEON
Sajid , its not fair buddy ... you motivated me to fight against thalassemia and left me alone in half way ...
you was my courage buddy , you was a true inspiration for me yaar... several time when i tried to motivate other thals to use pump and controle iron , i gave them your example that ,there is a man in RWP who did this everynight  .. ... and you .... you told me to take care my self and wat you did ...
i wasn't a big user of internet never joined a forum before ... i joined this forum bcoze of you .. you helped me alot , you motivated me alot you was a big source of encouragement for me... then why you leaved me like this ...is this was your friendship for a little while ,i winked my eyes and you disapeared ... you was shoulder on which i cried several time i felt bad  ...now i m looking for a shoulder to cry on ... i dont think that i can stay on this community anymore  in your absence ... you was the reason which attracted me to this site , i cant see my posts without your replies .. it will b hard and heart breaking for me ... buddy , i several times asked you to visit to lahore even once .... but.... buddy do you remember ,i was using my huge in size local pump instead of other smart one bcoze i had a fear in my mind that, it is the cause of sist and it is the cause of the pain , and it is not working nicely .... you told me to try it once again with a diffrent angle of the needle (45 degree )...
that worked for me , i started chelation to that pump , that was easy to carry ,, when i felt comfortness i concentrated more on chelation then andy gave me needles , and got these low levels of ferritin ... buddy you was on regular chelation since last 1 and half year , you was fit enough , then wat happened yaar .. why you left me alone here to suffer again ...why you left us alone to cry ... and to feel helpless again ... how good it was, we waited for eac other to come online , we discussed matter shared jokes .. and talked about other current affairs and topics .... we discussed about the posts abt our views about our efforts and much more ...
wat we was thinking about ... to have friendship to other thals ... before i found this community , i was not that much big internet user ...  here i came to see you , i met to you , talked to you , we became friends , you was a computer professional , thats why mostly online , i was free  for chelation ,got  unlimited access , then we chatted upto 3,3 hour in a session , only reason to adjourn the sessions were , to have meal ,to prayer , and to sleep .....  it was our routine since past 6 months .. then how i can forget you buddy ... you was the inspiration for me and all ... and you will remain in our lives forever ...
SAJID,YOU WILL REMAINED FOREVER IN OUR MEMORIES AND PRAYERS LIKE AN ANGEL AND LIKE A LITTLE SHINY AND SMILING STAR , WAT YOU WAS ....

MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE..
MAY ALLAH GRANT YOU HIGH RANK IN PARADISE..
MAY GOD BLESS HIS FAMILY WITH STRENGHTT TO BEAR THIS BIG LOSS..
MAY GOD SHOWER HIS MERCY UPON YOU .....

you was the first thal pal of UMAIR , to whom he shared everything he didn't shared to his parents and cousins and other friends ...

sorry, buddies i m completely broken today  ... i have no words of courage today to share with you ... only i can say . oh God give us courage to beer this unbeerable loss .... i hope that i will join you buddies soon .... but unable to assure you that we will meet again .

Best Regards
Take Care
Umair

Umair,  my nice friend,
Sajid leaving us has left us all shattered.  He has been a big part of my life for two years now, he has always always supported me the way a younger brother would.  He has been this for every member of on this site.  He has given us courage to fight, he has told us to live. 

You MUST take care of yourself, you must remember what he taught you.  Please don't forget his words.  I also felt like never returning to this site when I heard about Sajid's death earlier today, I felt that I could not bear the emptiness and lack of him and the flapping wings of his dove here.  But Sajid would never ever want for his group and his friends to fall apart because of him.  We need to mourn his loss together.  We need to keep his dream and his teachings alive.  He has not left you, he cared for you and will always be with you.  I believe that he is with me, the picture of him in his mint green outfit will be with me for the rest of my life.  Nothing can ever take away whatever communication he has shared with any of us. 

He would never want to abandon us, he had never done that.  He would never want to abandon his mother, he would hide his ailments from her to protect her - how could he possibly leave her and emptying her heart and her home forever?  He fought for a long time, for himself and for so many others.  I wish he had accepted our help, but god needed him to quick.  He was an angel when he was alive, he has surely received his wings now. 

You are NOT alone!  Sajid is with you and we are all with you.  Please please do not give up!  We have lost a brother, and we don't have the strength to deal with this loss - please do not make us deal with anything bad happening to you.  You have been through too much to give up.  Remember when you were in a wheel chair?  You need to continue on for Sajid and for yourself, you need to keep posting the cakes he taught you to post. 

Imagine how Andy must feel,  how he found the strength to build up this group after losing his best friend.  Think of the pain he endures each time he loses someone like Sajid.  We need to help each other and we need to help so many others.  Sajid is not here to touch the new members with his kindness, we must continue his work.  Let's all take a little bit of his kindness, calmness and his peaceful nature with us and continue to spread it as he would want us to. 

Let this inspire you to take even better care of yourself.  I am also overcome with grief, but I can't let you walk away and forget to take care of yourself.

Sharmin

Sajid,

My brother you have left far too soon.  You did not give us any warning to prepare us for this loss.  I have sobbed uncontrollably all day, waiting for someone to tell me that this is all a big mistake.  I cannot imagine posting another message, knowing that you cannot respond.  I think of your mother, how she must have raised you and loved you.  I think of how she worried about you, and if we can not deal with the thought of losing you - how is she dealing with it now? 

I know that you fought hard and I know that you wanted to live.  We have all been so worried about you not getting proper desferal, and you told us not to worry with a smile.  My heart is so heavy right now, and I know that everyone is heart broken.  I don't believe this right now, it will take some time.  I still hope that when I wake up tomorrow I will realize that this is all a dream. 

You will always always be remembered.  I will always always remember everything that you have said and what you have meant to me - my little brother.  I will always miss you and think of you when I see a bird in flight.  May god keep you close to him, may he keep your soul in peace.  May you be free from all pain.  May he also look over your family and friends as they deal with losing you. May we all have the strength to carry on helping each other and welcoming new people to this site, carrying a little bit of you with us all. 

Love,

Sharmin

ps.  Andy, I don't know if this is possible but can we have Sajid's dove posted on the thalassemia patients and friends page somewhere - to keep him with us ?   

Is this the way it will be ? I get so attached with friends here then they just leave. So whose next?? I really can't take this anymore........just two days i was talking with you and you were fine, you were always fine though nothing seemed so.

How could you support us and encourge us all though i know that you had lots of hopes that you wanted to achieve and you couldn't. You wanted to work and you were never given a chance, you wanted to love and there were no chance even your simple right of having good treatment you couldn't achieve and in spite of all this you were always calm smiling and so supportive

When everyone talks about you, it looks like you dedicated all your time for him alone. Everyone feels this at the same time. I feel that i couldn't help you or gave you the same support.  I know that that this is your time and nothing will change this ... but i can not deal with your sudden absence. You were always there,, always.... even for Ahmad ..you were the one who provided him with the spiderman pictures that he loved... what shall i say when he asks about the pictures you used to send ..what can i say  you are just gone .. like this . Sajid it has been two years i see your posts every day and you were always there, you remembered all our birthdays, you welcomed people, you were so informative . When any of us was out of track , you had a magic way to make him back to normal again. I know you suffered a lot i know this from one of the old posts when you answered how thal has affected your life, it was the first and last time that you convyed your real sufferings. Nothing in this world seemed to be fare to you, may be this is why God was so merciful and wanted you to join paradice . Some people don't belong to our world but heaven and you are one of them. I wish i could never know you cause i can't stand losing you

I am so broken from inside,  how could that i can't stop crying on someone i never met, i even can't function..., see how strong you were, you were a pillar in this site

Sajid, sajid i know you can't hear me and don't know why i am posting but may be some new people will come and read how a person like you existed in this world. Have nothing to say more but i am loaded with my child sickness and now it is squezeed with your absence, please enough for this...

Please Zaini, asim, waleed or umair or any one from pakistain who can see sajid's mother, tell her that she had done an excellent job and she knew how to raise a wonderful person that will never be forgotten. Tell her how her son has played a roel in many of our lives and how his posts showed how much he adored her. May God give her all the strength........

Sajid all what i will do now is i will keep reading all your previous posts because i feel that my brain will explode if i don't see you online everyday

But i am relieved that his passing is during this Holy month of Ramadhan. May Allah place his soul in the highest place amongs the chosen ones. Al-Fatihah

it is something could relieve a little bit ... and give's peace to my mind as well ...

Hi everyone :
i know you all spent longer time with sajid than me . but i think, i spent a little more bcoze  we was regular to meet each other on msn messenger  ... it was our routine to meet online regularly as much as possible , we met last time on thursday 8;30 pm PST ... when we didn't meet on friday and then saturday and then an e-mail was saying to me that sajid is no more with us ..  thats why its a little bit dificult for me to realize that, a person to whom i met a few days ago, he has passed away to me last night ... without any warning ,, without saying bubye ...
is this the way to go that much far away?? ..  is it not a sudden going?? .. he even not gave a chance to say take care my dear friend, sajid.... i still cant believe on it ....he was the only one to whom i considered as a ray of hope for my self .... he was the one who has been with me online on msn messenger troughout these 6 months ...
he was the only one to whom i felt comfort to explain , wat ever i want to say .. you can check it in the post  WATCH AND THINK ABT IT .... he sent explaination of my thoughts just after i started the thread ... thats who he was ... a helper , a companion ,a kindered friend ..... he was the person to whom i felt easy to communicate ... he was the person who has the ability to understand anyones probleme and could provide solution of that probleme as well ....i dont know to whom now i can share my thoughts and how i can take rest and feel light .... i m unable to find anyone who can treat me like sajid treated ...

sharmin sis , i m feeling alone as i was 6 months ago ... it will take time to heal from this tragedy ..
i know its not easy for anyone to do that wat sajid did ... i thought that ,he was alike me , thats why he was my friend ...he was free and at home for 24 hours like me ... that is the reason we spent a lot of time togather , web surfing ,searching new thing , view and reviews about everything ,, discussions about the ongoing topics of thal pal ... i often like to say that ,, hey sajid on that topic he/she has washed you very badly ... and answer from him " it happens buddy , sometime it happens " .... wat a super days was ..

its not end yet  ,, i have many moments to share ,,  i willl write again soon

take care
UMAIR

WOW!!!

I cant beleive what I have just read!!!

I am in total shock!!!

He was an inspiration to us all... I cant post anything!!!

Just that I hope his family find enough strength to go on and may his soul rest in peace, He will forever be in our hearts and minds..He has touched many here, including myself...

I am sure that he will be looking down upon us and making sure that we are all doing well...

Nicefriend.. it will be nice to see you post on here..I like it when I read your posts 

If you need a friend to talk to and a shoulder to cry on..I will be willing to help in anyway that I can.. just send me a email and I will add you to my msn...

Take care everyone

Sajid you were more of a brother to me then a friend and you are an example to all of us... healing others pain and thinking whats best for them spreading happiness and joy around you... i remember you talking and smiling to me and having a nice discussion in JSF... you are gone but leaving me with these memory's that i can treasure for ever and i have lost words for expression

May Allah give you a place in heaven (ameen)

Sajid,Brother,

Look what you did to us all,God!why it was me who had to post that horrible post,i can't get over with it.

I was just visiting the forum when i got a PM from umair saying sister have you recieved an email from someone named amber fayaz,i asked him to wait and checked my mails,and there it was,a mail forwarded by sajid to all his friends,along with it a message that sajid has expired,i told umair it's not true,it can't be,it  must be a prank,umair said i am gonna kill this person,i emailed back to amber fayaz begging her to tell me who was she and if it was true,fortunately she was online and she send me the mail i posted there,i asked her to please come on messenger but she told me that she was at work so can't open messenger,and i was like,yeah that how the news is true,you are working on sundays ? i was really angry but then she told me that she lives in Dubai and of course she has work on sundays,i apologized asked for sajid's number,she gave me his home contact.
In the mean time umair was able to trace one of sajid's friends on orkut and got his cell number too,he didn't have the courage to call,but really i was in total denial and went ahead and called,his cell was off,i dialed his home phone,a lady recieved and i just said,"can i talk to sajid please"
Thats how absurd it felt,Sajid leaving us? no way!! but then she told me that Sajid passed away last night and they have just left for funeral,i asked if i can talk to his sis or his mom,but she said that they are in very bad condition unable to cope with the news themselves,i recieved an email from his cousin telling that his mom and his sisiter are in shock,not eating or even drinking water,his aunt told me that he had heart attack,his blood pressuer and blood sugar went real low.

Sajid,
I am sure in my belief when i say that you must be resting in Jannah by now,but let me tell you,this forum won't be the same with out you,i can't imagin logging on here and not seeing you online,can't imagin posting here and not see you posting,i am not good with words my brother,but you should have warned us,a little bit even,you just left,just like that,we didn't even get to say good bye?
How can i explain what my heart feels when i think about your mom,i feel like my heart will explode,everybody is asking in my family what happened,why you keep crying?,what am i supposed to tell them,that i lost my younger brother!what kind of stupid ignorant sister i was?i didn't even have you numbers,i didn't know what was going wrong,i sent you desfgeral just once and then you didn't let me do that again,you told me that if i ever wanted anything from rawal pindi i should not hesitate,but how can i ask "YOU " back now brother!how and to whom?to whom i can say that i wanna meet sajid,this is the thing i want from rawalpindi,and i can't bear that i am never going to get that.

I have no courage to call his family again,what would i say to his mom ," i am sorry mam you lost your wonderfull son",just that? this cold word sorry can cover her grief,she LOST her SON!!ONLY SON!!, to goddamn thal,sorry for my language,but i can't tell you how miserable i feel.It' gonna be like that,we have to loose our friends and loved ones to diseases that are supposed to be manageable? yeah right!! very manageable.

Umair you don't dare leave this forum,Sajid will get hurt.

Zaini.

Dear Sajid, You are a star which will continue to illuminate your own ThalPal forever...

Be The Change:
"the edges of things are always deceptive, because we are taught to believe
in endings and beginnings.but the truth is: There Are No Borders."

Sajid is still amongst us, but on a higher ground.

Till we meet again, Sajid.

Ginni

In the wee hours of Monday morning (today) I received a txt message on my cell, saying "Sajid Rauf is no more" I heard my phone go off and looked at the message and closed my phone.

Later when I woke properly, I went through my message again and read it again and thought (too rude to say here) but anyway.
^%$$^&*(&^%$$#  I txted Andy back and I was like  It didnt hit me until I was sitting today in church attending another funeral (a fellow patient from our clinic) that I thought about what Andy had texted me properly and I just cried and cried and cried.

Sajid....you truely were an inspiration to many of us. Your prompt replies, your accuracy and your expression was above any other I have known. May your journey to the other side be a safe one, please if you see our dearest friends (Stan and Ashish) send them my love and tell them to be good and that I miss them and I'll miss YOU!

You can shed tears that he's gone,
Or you can smile beacuse he lived.

You can lose your eyes and pray he'll come back,
Or you can open them and see all that he left you.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
Or you can be full of the love you've shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him, and only that he's gone,
or you can cherish his memory adn let it live on.

You can cry and close yoru mind,
Be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what you would want,

SMILE

OPEN YOUR EYES

LIVE AND GO ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Forever in our hearts........